A wise man once told me that when I find myself around single women,
especially when I find them attractive or interesting, I should mention
my wife and family early in the conversation. I have found this advice
to be very useful on many occasions.
Fellow husbands, I have found the above advice and the other tips
at the bottom to be essential in keeping my marriage healthy and
strong. I want my marriage to be strong and healthy, and so should you!
In fact, it’s one of the biggest responsibilities in your marriage.
So let’s dig deeper into this subject. Where are some common
places that you might run into this scenario? For many of you, it could
easily happen at work. You could be starting a new job and find yourself
around a lot of nice, new women. When this happens, you have to make
the choice to embrace their attention or extinguish it in a friendly way
by mentioning your beautiful wife and family.
For some of you, you have been working around the same women for some
time. You might have chosen many times to engage in flirty conversation
or to go out with co-workers after work. If this is you and your wife
is at home waiting for you, then it’s time to step back and assess your
position as the husband and leader. Take the necessary steps to make
your relationship with your wife the most important one again and don’t
forget it. Lead, gentlemen, lead!
Even though those were only a couple of quick examples, I know
there are a few of you out there who need to step up your role as a
husband. Those examples don’t apply to you? Then consider who you know
and talk to at your gym, the grocery store, the local hangout or
wherever. These “simple” places could produce difficult relationships
that will harm your relationship and love with your wife. Man up and do
what needs to be done for your marriage!
Now that I have your attention, here are five things every married man should do around single women:
1. Keep your ring on. There are very few
exceptions for when that ring needs to be off, like when operating heavy
machinery, swimming in shark-infested waters and the like. If you are
about to enter a situation that makes you look at your ring and consider
if you need it on or not, leave! Run! Get away from there! Seriously,
get out of that situation; your vows, marriage, children and more depend
on those important decisions. (Read Luke 16:10.)
2. Hang up pictures of your wife at work. A
married man in this position would be wise to pick out a couple of great
and fun photos of him and his wife and keep them displayed at his
office or place of work. Pick a time that was fun for two reasons: It
will remind you why you love her so much, and it will make for a great
conversation tool when others, especially women, ask about it. Update
the image as needed to keep the people around you knowing your
relationship is continuing to grow. Get that picture up this week and
extinguish those flames. (Read Psalm 119:37.)
3. Keep eye contact simple and short. Don’t read
this the wrong way; I’m not saying to be rude. I’m saying to be careful
where your eyes travel and how long they travel when you are in the
presence of an attractive single woman. You know that once you engage in
the first serious look, you have signed the dotted line for more eye
trouble. (Read more about that “first look” here.) Keep it short, keep
it decisive, and move on. Get back to that image posted at your desk.
Go! (Read Matthew 5:28.)
4. Keep conversation general and professional.
If you work around single women, there is no question that conversation
will come up. It’s up to you on how you decide to speak with her. You
can choose to keep it short and general, you can choose to keep it
professional, or you can choose to keep it off of those and allow it go
places it shouldn't. Be polite but very intentional in your
conversations. If needed, again, always be ready to bring up something
about your wife or family. Pull the pin, aim, and extinguish. Safety
first. (Read Romans 6:13.)
5. Talk about your wife and family often. Did I
mention anything about talking about your wife in conversation yet? I
believe I did, but this last point brings the idea to a firm home. The
single women you engage with each day, if you have to, should be no
match to your wife and family. Your family should be your first priority
wherever you are and with whomever you encounter each day. Yes, each
and every day. Keep it short, keep it simple, and mention your beautiful
wife. Now pat yourself on the back and keep it up. (Read Ephesians
5:25-33.)
Important note: No matter what you have done
with your current relationships with single women, these steps can and
should be started at anytime. Your wife’s feelings are and will always
be more important than the woman you need to take these steps with. Get
on it!
I challenge you to take these bold steps for you, your marriage and your family. Again, it’s your responsibility to lead!
List one of your own tips below, and let’s help out our fellow husbands.
Dominion City
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